


tired of this body

by jonsrightrib (sotakeabitofcalpol)



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Body Horror, Gen, Hoo boy is this one fucked up im sorry, Jon’s Childhood Trauma, Self-Harm, but I made it way worse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:35:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23303248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sotakeabitofcalpol/pseuds/jonsrightrib
Summary: He can feel the web tightening around his skinHe wants it off. There’s more than one way to do so, but he picks the worst
Comments: 2
Kudos: 90





	tired of this body

**Author's Note:**

> Hi the self harm/ body horror is not graphic but it is pretty fucked up and he is canonically young when this is set
> 
> Spoilers for MAG 81 and 155 (albeit briefly)
> 
> Please tell me if I’ve missed triggers/tags

He doesn’t shut the door for weeks after Mr Spider. It only stops when his grandmother slams it in complete, and justified, frustration. Even that leaves him screaming for the rest of the night, shoving his face into the pillow to muffle the sounds.

All that time, he can feel Mr Spider’s webs closing in on him. Even though walls, those silvery threads wrap around his limbs and neck, choking him of the words to tell anyone what happened. Growing taut across his skin, digging into bony shoulders. He wants to forget, to move on, but they crawl across him every minute, waking or otherwise.

Naturally, he decides to solve that. He didn’t eat or sleep much before, but even his grandmother has started to notice now. He doesn’t want to hurt her.

So he grabs the sharpest of the kitchen knives, folds an old leather belt between his teeth, biting down like the books described, and starts to cut the web off of him.

He doesn’t remember much, just blood, and a sick satisfaction of being free of the webs. Of course, his grandmother had walked in to see him carving into his own flesh, the blood pooling around him and called an ambulance. They clearly couldn’t see the web he’d managed to hack himself free from on the floor. They didn’t understand, not even later.

He spent some time with therapists after that, and they determined he was ‘of sound mind’- potentially traumatised by an event he’d clearly imagined, but not psychosis. He wasn’t experiencing hallucinations or delusions, just...well. They never worked it out.

The web, though...the lines were slacker. He was at least a little freer.

He still has the scars when he starts at the Institute, although he doesn’t know how many will join them yet. He also brings with him a deep rooted hatred of Jurgen Leitner.

~~And when Melanie punches through her own eyes to escape the eye of the thing they serve...well, he can understand, can’t he.~~

**Author's Note:**

> Title from ‘Body’ by Mother Mother
> 
> This is the toned down version. You really don’t wanna know.


End file.
